


Humiliation

by brohne



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 18:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brohne/pseuds/brohne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Lambo twins take advantage of an opportunity to exact revenge on Prowl. Thoroughly humiliated Prowl retreats further into his work and it's up to Jazz to show him that there is nothing to be ashamed of. Warnings for dub-con/non-con.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"He's still out."

"Are you sure?"

Something clanged, barely registering as I lay immobile in what I hoped was the medical bay. I tried to online my optics and received no feedback.

"See, told ya'."

"Com'mon 'Sides, you sure you want to do this? I mean we did just get out of the brig an orn ago for that last prank . . ."

"And miss this chance to torment the one mech who torments us more than anyone?"

"Well . . . When you put it that way."

What in the name of Primus was going on? If these two idiots thought they could get away with whatever it was they had in mind, they were in for a world of hurt. Though I couldn't figure out why I was immobile. Systems check revealed nothing more than a medically administered sedative. Sedative? Why? Had something happened.

"Check this out Sunny."

There was a tug on one of my door wings as someone gripped it. The sedative did nothing for the sudden flare of pain that shot through my sensor net. Had I been damaged? That was the only explanation. Something starting beeping to my right.

"Scrap! Hurry it up Sideswipe!"

"Just give me a sec."

It disturbed me that I couldn't feel what he was doing. My processor had already ran through several simulations of what he might be doing, but this was Sideswipe and I honestly had no idea. My only other option was to consider my impending retribution.

"What the slag are you two doing in here! Get away from him this instant!" There was a clatter and the sound of running feet. "Those two . . . I swear some days I want to offline them myself."

After a few moments full awareness began to return. Opening my optics I looked around, realizing I was face down on a medical berth.

"Ratchet?"

"Conscious? Good. How are you feeling?"

"What am I doing here?"

"You don't remember?"

I went to push myself up and nearly overbalanced. Ratchet steadied me, a hand on my arm.

"Take it easy. You got shot while on patrol. Your right door wing took the brunt of the damage. I repaired it, but its going to be very sensitive for an orn or two."

I swung my legs over the side of the berth and took stock of the damage. Now that I could access all of my programming the memories came flooding back. "Where is Smokescreen?"

"He's fine. He just had a mesh wound."

"May I go now?"

Ratchet vented forcefully. "Yes, but no strenuous activity. If the pain gets worse or anything seems off, comm me."

"Right."

Leaving the medical bay I headed to my office to see if I could track down the twins. They were supposed to be on monitor duty but a quick check with Red Alert showed they were not at their posts. No surprise there. Though it looked like a couple of others had taken them instead. At least they weren't leaving the base open to attack. Now to find where they were.

As I went to stand a sudden dizziness overcame me. Grabbing the edge of the desk before I could fall in the floor, I ran a quick scan. Something was interfering with my internal stabilizer and seemed to be localized in my door wings. Well if one was damaged that might not be out of the realm of possibility. Sinking back down into my chair I debated whether to call Ratchet. No, not for something this simple. I could work from my desk. The twins could wait. Let them have time to wonder what punishment they might be facing.

After several orn of going through reports a low energy alert started pinging. Maybe it was time for a break and some energon. Thankfully at this hour the refueling room as nearly empty. Nearly, I stopped in my tracks as I spotted Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

"You."

"Us?" Sunstreaker cocked his helm to the side smirking at me.

"You came to the medical bay earlier. Did you think I was-was . . ." I blinked trying to ascertain the strange sensation spreading through my frame.

"Think you were what, Prowl?"

Gathering my scattered thoughts I gritted my denta. This must be part of their so-called revenge. "I was not unaware of your visit."

"Scrap . . . He's got us Sides." Sunstreaker glanced over at his brother, both of them grinning.

"He does, doesn't he." Sideswipe was playing with a device on the table. He looked me in the optics as he held it up and pressed a button.

The strange sensation intensified to the point my knees threatened to buckle. It seemed to come from both my door wings and . . . my interface array, specifically my main port?

"What-what did you do?"

"Listen to that Sunny, he seems a bit breathless. Still hurting Prowl? Need to take a seat."

Forcing myself upright, I glared at the pair of them. "When I find out what you've done-ah!"

I had to grab the chair in front of me to keep from ending up on the floor. This was not happening. They would not be so audacious, so brazen as to assault a high ranking officer like this. It definitely felt like an assault, all my systems approaching red line the longer the sensation went on. I had never in my life felt anything close to it. It was nearly painful but also-not. I didn't know how to compute such a sensation.

"I think we made him glitch." Sunstreaker was laughing.

They were going to pay for vorn for this. I was not Red Alert, and I was not going to take this. I needed to get out of the room, maybe Ratchet could fix whatever they had done to me. I barely made it two steps toward the door before a new sensation wracked my frame. Heat was building to nearly intolerable levels at an alarming rate. What was going on? I couldn't move, my joints locking up. The door to the room decided to open just then. I was sure my optics were the widest they'd ever been as I watched Jazz saunter in. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or mortified to see him. I slowly turned my head to look at the twins, they just leered at me. I made a mistake of opening my mouth to yell at them just as a pulse of pure energy jolted through my systems. It didn't hurt, it was the exact opposite. All that came out was a soft whine as I shuddered.

"Yo Prowl, you feelin' okay."

I didn't dare look up. "Fine."

I flinched as Jazz placed a servo on my arm. "You are burning up Prowl. Are you sure you're alright? I heard you just got out of med bay . . . Maybe we should contact Ratchet."

"I am fine. Just need some energon." I managed. There had to be a way out of this, though as long as Sideswipe was controlling whatever was affecting me it might be difficult.

"Lets get you some then." Well meaning, Jazz turned me back toward the dispensers. My door wing brushed his shoulder and I barely bit back the cry, it came out as a muffled yelp. Too sensitive! Tingles were running over my mesh like static.

"Oh scrap, I'm sorry Prowl, that the injured one isn't it?"

Just the feel of Jazz reaching up, his EM field brushing against mine was enough to set off another bout of intensifying tingles that seem to originate from and migrate back to my interface array. I jerked away from him and stumbled into a table. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe started laughing.

"I don't think that's what's wrong with him, Jazz."

"Prowl?"

I waved him away and shoved myself up. "I'm going to my chambers."

I couldn't remember I time when I had ever been so humiliated. The last thing I need was for the one mech I considered a friend to realize what the twins had done. I still wasn't entirely sure what they had done, but in the safety of my own chambers I would have time to puzzle it out. Hopefully getting some distance between Sideswipe and myself would help as well. I was doing to turn him into pieces too small to feed a scraplet after this.

"Whoa there Prowl." Sunstreaker was suddenly blocking my way, he grinned down at me. "If there is something wrong you should go to Ratchet."

"I will be fi-ah!" Sunstreaker caught me under the arms as my knees buckled. That surge had been even stronger and to my horror I felt the panel for my main port retract.

"Let me go this instant!"

"Sure whatever."

I really should be more careful of my wording around the twin. I landed hard on my aft.

"Sunny! What the slag!" Jazz was at my side in an instant. "Com'mon Prowl."

"What did you do! You slaggers! What did you do-" I suddenly couldn't speak, my whole frame locking up as the small surges gained intensity. I was shaking so hard I could hear my armor clattering against Jazz.

"Slow it down Sides, he's gonna overload too soon."

"I thought that was the whole point."

Jazz propped me up which seemed to make things worse. "Alright you two, spill it. What did you do to him?"

"We're just trying to get him to relax. He's always so uptight and he's been after us every orn for one thing or another and we're tired of it."

"So when we found out he was drugged up in med bay we decided to play a prank on him."

"This doesn't seem like a simple prank guys."

"Well for most mechs it would be, but how were we to know the uptight glitch had never used his interface equipment before." Sideswipe didn't sound very contrite, more amused.

"What did you do?" I'd never heard Jazz use that tone of command with the twins, or anyone really.

"We put a stimulator in his port and on his door wings." The way Sunstreaker said it made it sound as if it was the most innocuous thing in the world.

"I'm going to offline you both!" I managed through gritted denta.

"Oh please, you'll thank us later."

"Maybe I'll offline you for him." Jazz growled.

"Hey, don't act like it hasn't crossed your mind to do something like this to him too, Jazz. We've seen the way you watch him when he's not looking."

I jerked my head around to look at Sideswipe who was still seated at the table. He smiled and waved the device at me. Everything disappeared in a haze of overwhelming sensation. I was dying. That was the only thing I could think. Jazz was calling my name and someone was making odd noises.

"Now you can't tell me that's not hot to watch."

"This is not how you treat your commanding officer."

"We should have done this sooner. He's kinda cute like that."

"I will kill you both while you recharge." I onlined my optics, not sure when they'd gone offline. Tingles were still racing over my frame but without the intensity of earlier. Now it was just a nice buzzing feeling. NO! Not nice! If they told anyone about this I would never live it down. Of all the pranks to pull on me why would they do this? A hand caressed the side of my face, startling me.

"Hey, it's okay. It's just me."

I forced myself away from Jazz's embrace and lunged for Sunstreaker. Instead of fighting back he wrapped his arms around me, effectively pinning me.

"Let me go so I can kill you." I growled.

"I never listen to your orders so what makes you think I'm going to start now. Sides, you want to take it off him?"

"Hold him still."

"Either of you hurt him and I'll-"

"We got this Jazz, we just wanted a bit of fun."

"Get your filthy servos off me-scrap!" I yelped as Sideswipe's servos found my open panel and pushed into the array. My internal fans were already going but now they kicked up another notch. "St-stop!"

"Can't. Gotta get it out or it'll drive you crazy all orn."

His fingers brushed over some particularly sensitive nodes and I squirmed in Sunstreakers grip. How had things ended up like this, with Sunstreaker knuckles deep in my interface array. It was beyond humiliating, I wanted to go curl up and die somewhere quiet and dark. "I'll have Ratchet, just stop touching me."

"Hmm, I can't seem to reach it. All his squirming may have worked it deeper."

"Fine! Let me go! I'll go to Ratchet." I didn't like how panicked I sounded.

"I'll get it."

My optics widened in shock at the sound of Jazz's voice. "J-Jazz . . .?"

"Just relax Prowler. From the looks of it your interface array is practically brand new, its no wonder Sides can't get his big fingers in there."

Mortified that not only was my ultimate debasement being witness by Sideswipe and Sunstreaker but also my best friend. Burying my face against Sunstreaker's chest I tried to hide the hitch in my vents.

"I think we broke him . . ." Sunstreaker tightened his arms around me for a moment.

A soft touch along my back strut had me tensing. It wasn't Sideswipe so that meant it had to be Jazz. Primus please just let me die and go to the Well now. It would be less painful.

"Maybe we should go somewhere more private. I don't want just anyone walking in on him like this."

Sunstreaker responded by bodily picking me up and slinging me over his shoulder. He managed to promptly smack both my door wings into the door frame. The yelp it tore from me was very unbecoming an officer of my rank.

"Dammit Sunny! Watch what you are doing!"

Somehow we made it down the hall and to Jazz's office without further incident. I was beginning to ache, even though the surges of sensation were gone. My array felt like it was on fire. Sunstreaker dumped me on Jazz's desk among all the clutter there. I tried to get back up only to have him push me back down. Jazz leaned down over me.

"Stay still Prowl. If it gets too deep you really will have to go to Ratchet. There is a reason those things are only supposed to be used on willing mechs who know how to use them properly."

I turned to look at the twins. "If you breath a word of this-"

"How 'bout this Prowl. You don't punish us for doing it and we won't say anything to anyone."

I realized that was exactly what they'd been aiming for from the beginning. If I punished them they would tell everyone about the incident. Unbidden my processor came up with several hundred ways the other mechs at the base could use this information against me.

"Fine." I shivered as Jazz's servo inadvertently caressed my inner thigh. At least I hoped it was inadvertent.

"Alright, you 'eard him. Get out."

"Sure thing Jazz."

"Take good care of him."

I would have made a retort but Jazz chose that moment to run his servos over the outside of my array.

"I will." Jazz purred.

The door slid shut and Jazz muttered a lockout code. We were now effectively locked in the room. He gently grabbed my hip actuators and pulled me to the edge of the desk before pushing my legs back. I had never felt so exposed or helpless.

"Jazz?"

"Just relax Prowl. Your array is . . . Rather tight. Were they right?"

"About?" I forced myself to relax as much as I could with my best friend pawing at the most intimate part of myself outside of my processor.

"You never having used your cables or ports?"

I leaned up to look at him. "How long have we known each other Jazz?"

"Oh a few hundred vorn . . . Oh. No wonder this all looks so pristine."

"Please stop commenting on my body."

He chuckled. "You do have an nice set of cables here. Your main port has got to be aching with all the stimulation."

"How did you know?"

Jazz raised an optic ridge. "And how long have we known each other?"

"Oh, nevermind, can you just hurry up please. I think I've filled my humiliation quota for the vorn."

Again there was a soft chuckle that did something to my spark and port at the same time. How was that possible? I shivered gripping the edges of the desk as deft fingers entered my port.

"At least they put it in the main port and left your cables alone. I've never used one of these but they can drive a mech into stasis from repeated overloads." He grunted softly. "There it is. It did manage work it's way deeper. Not sure why they didn't use the one with the wire."

"You are enjoying this . . ."

"Immensely."

"Jazz!"

"Oh com'mon Prowl, you have to admit it was a pretty well thought out prank that didn't hurt anyone. Well except your pride."

I scowled at him then let my helm fall back to thud against the desk. "Just hurry up, I ache all over."

He twisted his fingers and I nearly came up off the desk. "Jazz!"

"Yeah, still a bit sensitive I see."

"Slag it Jazz! Stop enjoying yourself and help me!"

"Maybe you should try and enjoy yourself while I help you, Prowl."

"I am not interested."

He grunted and removed his fingers. "I think I see why the twins chose this as their prank."

"Did you get it? Is it out?"

"It's out, but there is still the one on your door wing."

He helped me sit up. My hips were aching to match the ache in my port. I could feel my door wings twitch as Jazz touched them.

"Be careful!"

"Seriously Prowl? You are more worried about your door wings than your interface array?"

"I don't use it, them I do."

"Really . . . maybe we should change that."

"Wh-what?" I stared at Jazz, incredulous. "You cannot mean that."

He came back around the desk to face me. "Why can't I Prowler? Of all the things I've ever said to you, when did I not mean them?"

"I-I don't know . . . don't do this to me right now, I can't handle it."

"You can't handle the fact that I think you are the most attractive mech I've ever met and I've waited vorn for you to loosen up enough so I could tell you without getting slugged in the face."

I had nothing to say to that. I wasn't even sure I could process it properly.

"Prowl . . . you aren't going to glitch on me are you?

If a proposal from my one and only friend to interface didn't make me glitch then I wasn't sure what would.

"Slag it Prowl . . . I've waited for vorn to be able to touch you in any way but this wasn't how I wanted to have had it happen."

I nearly flinched away as he reached up to touch my face, his thumb running just under my optic. "Talk to me Prowl. I won't do anything you don't want me to."

How was I supposed to tell him? He'd been the first and only mech I'd ever found myself drawn too. Dare I say, attracted to. But did I want to pursue this new aspect of our relationship? I had been happy as we were. I knew now that was because I'd never realized there could be more. My processor was aching with the overload of trying to come to the right decision.

Jazz vented softly. "This is too much isn't it. You've never even touched yourself, let alone had your array stimulated so forcefully. It wasn't fair of them and I will be dealing with them. Prime will now that they assaulted-"

"No!" I startled myself. "Please Jazz . . . I don't want anyone to know. Its bad enough they do."

I lowered my gaze unable to continue looking into the soft blue of his visor. "I'm going to go clean up."

I felt unwell now. Like coming down after a battle high, trembling, roiling fuel tank, weak limbs, confused processor. All of it was too much to take right now. I wasn't sure I could face anyone at the moment. So much for my reknowned stoicism. Give me one good overload and I'm ready to crack like an exposed motherboard. Just thinking about it now disgusted me. They'd watched me overload and thought it was cute. Cute! Any respect I might have grudgingly gained from them was gone like so much vapor. I made it off the desk though most of the stuff came with me.

"Sorry."

"I've got it. Want me to walk you to your hab suite?"

"No, thank you. I'll be fine."

Just before the door closed behind me I heard Jazz. "Yeah sure. Fine my aft."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings apply.

Locking the door behind me, I made straight for my personal wash rack. It was one perk of being an officer. One of the very few. Standing under the solvent I stared at my feet, my processor was still reeling. Part of me wanted to just forget any of it had happened. But I couldn't ignore the lingering ache or the random tingles over my frame. This was so absurd. Of all the pranks why something so intensely personal and private? Had I ever done anything to the twins to warrant this kind of a reaction. True they thought I 'had it out for them' because I was the one who issued their punishments, but that didn't mean I took pleasure in it. Bracing a servo against the wall I tried to get my processor to quit looping the experience looking for ways to assimilate the information into my tactical programming. This experience had no business being part of that processor.

They'd often called me an uptight glitch. It was a common insult thrown my way. Honestly, I didn't understand why. I was always polite and professional with everyone. I enforced the rules that had to be followed for the safety of everyone and I fought along side them when the time came, so what made me so different. Shutting off the shower I stood there for a long moment letting the solvent run off my frame. I didn't feel any better. Was I that different from everyone else? They'd been so shocked to find I'd never used my array. Was it that unusual? It just wasn't something that had ever occurred to me as needed. My job had always taken precedence over personal relationships. It had to for the safety of others. Now that we were at war it was even more important I be able to function at my best. I'd seen what close relationships had done to other mechs. Even among our own ranks there were certain mechs I could no longer put on the same duty rotation without fights breaking out. It was divisive and disruptive behavior and had no place on the base.

The door chimed. Someone was outside. Taking a slow deep vent I quickly dried and after checking to see who it was opened the door. Jazz held out an energon cube.

"I thought you might be needing this."

"That was . . . Very considerate of you, thank you." I took the cube once again marveling at how kind he could be. "Is there anything else?"

"Slag it Prowl!" Jazz growled and pushed by me into the room. He turned to face me arms crossed over his chest. "You cannot be as calm and collected as you are pretending to be. Any other mech would be in hysterics or trying to frag the sense out of the closest available mech."

Setting the cube down on a nearby table I glanced over at him before dropping my gaze. "I think we've established I am not most mechs."

"Look't me Prowl."

I raised my head to look him in the face. He was frowning, his frame stiff. "This," He waved a hand over my frame, "This is not normal Prowl. I know you and this is not you. You wouldn't just let the twins do something like this without fighting back."

"I have no precedent on which to base an appropriate response to this matter."

Jazz shook his head, his visor dimming almost to black. "Prowl, I think you should talk to Prime about this."

"This is nothing to concern him over. It is a private matter."

"Everything is a private matter with you! I've known you for thousands of vorn and you never, ever let other mechs know what you are really thinking or feeling. I'm the closest thing you have to a friend and I don't even know you that well. I know what you'll do in battle, how you fight, what kind of tactics you'll use. I know you like to work on reports of an afternoon after spending the morning in meetings and training and that you take your energon hot and like to read detective novels. Other than that I'm as in the dark as any other mech." He paused, the force of his gaze seeming to pierce my spark. I looked away. When he spoke again his voice was soft. "What are you so afraid of, Prowl? I don't agree with what the Twins did, but I know why they did it. Any mech who could get an emotional response out of you would count it a victory."

I whipped around. "I am not some-some tactical simulation to be conquered! I just . . . Don't like allowing myself to be that exposed."

"We are your friends Prowl, we aren't going to hurt you."

"You can't promise that Jazz, no one can."

"Well . . . that's a risk most mechs are willing to take. I'll be honest with you Prowl, right now, you are hurting me."

"But I have done nothing-"

Jazz held up a servo stopping me. "Not physically Prowl. It hurts me to know you are so scared of what happened that you won't even let me try to help you."

"I am not scared! I am . . . confused."

Jazz finally smiled for the first time since he'd appeared at my door. "You and confused don't go together in the same sentence."

I narrowed my optics at him. "Don't tease me."

"And some mechs say you don't get humor."

"Jazz . . ." I vented forcefully. "I appreciate you bringing the energon but I'm very tired after everything and my whole frame aches. I did just get out of the med bay this morning."

"Yeah, well I thought I'd give it a shot talking to you."

"I will think about what you've said."

"That's all I ask." He walked over and placed a servo on my shoulder. His EM field once again mingled with mine, creating a warmth that did very disturbing things. "I'll come check on you later."

"Alright. Thank you." It came out more strained than I'd intended and I quickly looked down as Jazz cocked his head to the side.

"Get some rest."

The instant the door shut behind him, I sagged against the table, nearly upsetting the cube of energon. Picking it up I drained it, though my tank rumbled and instantly threatened to make me purge. I fought back the nausea and headed for my berth. Too many things had happened today, too many for it to have only been a few joor. Collapsing on my berth I tried to shut down my processor. It was futile. Either I was thinking about what had happened or what Jazz had said. Getting up I grabbed a data pad off my shelf and tried to immerse myself in the fictional detective story.

I woke to the sound of my door chime. Whoever it was must have been there for a while because there was also an comm message waiting for me. I glanced at my chronometer, it was several joor into the next orn and well past my usual time to be up. I tried to sit up, realizing I was slumped over, the data pad still resting on my lap. No wonder my back strut was aching. Whoever it was gave up on the chime and started pounding on my door.

"I'm coming!"

The pounding stopped as I got to my feet. My frame protested the sudden movement with sharp pain. Stumbling I made it to the door and palmed the switch and instantly wished I'd checked to see who it was first. I stared up at Optimus, Ratchet at his side, my processor racing.

"P-Prime, sir I am so sorry-"

He shook his head, raising a servo. "I am sorry to wake you Prowl but there is something we need to discuss."

"I want you to come to the med bay." Ratchet sounded grave.

"I assure you I am feeling fine, you did an excellent job with the repairs . . ." Seeing the look in his optics I knew that wasn't what this was about. I sagged against the door frame. I was going to kill Jazz. He had no right going behind my back like this. "That's not why you are here, is it?"

"Unfortunately, no." Prime's deep rumble had me cringing.

"I'd rather discuss this in private Prowl. Please come with us, I have energon warming for you."

I didn't see any point in arguing. Prime would just make it an order and then I'd have to do it anyway. I ducked my helm and stepped out into the corridor with them, locking my room. We walked in silence. While not unusual, this time it felt oppressive, my processor tumbling over all the implications of what was happening. Many of the mechs we passed offered greetings to Prime or Ratchet. Not once to myself. Ratchet lead us to his private office in the back of the medical bay. He gestured for me to sit. Prime stayed standing which for some reason made me even more nervous. Perching on the edge of the seat I looked down wishing I could get my door wings to quit their infernal twitching. Ratchet took his seat behind the desk. Venting heavily he finally looked up at me.

"Optimus came to me this morning with some disturbing news. Jazz told him that the twins assaulted you."

I clenched my servos in my lap unable to keep my helm up. Why couldn't he have just let it be, like I'd asked? Did he think this was helping?

"Prowl, did they hurt you?" Prime's concern was clear in his voice.

I shrugged, my door wings dipping dangerously low. Was I hurt? Physically no. But I was learning there were many kinds of hurt. "They did not damage me"

"Maybe not physically." Ratchet sighed, eerily echoing my thoughts. "What they did was wrong and borders very closely on forcible violation. The only thing that we need to know is . . . Prowl," He waited until I raised my head to look at him, "Did you feel assaulted by what they did?"

I had. I still did. Setting my jaw I nodded unable to voice my thoughts.

Prime vented softly and a large servo was place on my shoulder. "Ratchet will see to you now. I will go take care of things."

The implications of what he meant hit me as he turned to go. "Optimus, please wait." I stood to face him hating that I was trembling all over. "If-if you punish them for this . . . Everyone will know what happened and I . . ."

Prime leaned down, careful not to crowd me. "Prowl, I cannot condone this kind of behavior, no matter why it was done or who it was done too. They crossed the line. The details of the assault will remain sealed. No one will know. Ratchet needs to examine you and make sure there was no damage inflicted."

I nodded my spark sinking. This was all getting blown entirely out of proportion. I wasn't damaged physically, just my pride.

"I should have known those two were up to no good when I caught them in here. They've always been irresponsible little glitches but this is an all new low for them."

"Yes it is and I will be dealing with them accordingly. Prowl, if you need to someone to talk to just come by. My door is always open to you." There was a slight tone of disappointment in his voice as he went on. "I wish you trusted me enough to come to me yourself about something so serious."

I had nothing to say to that and stood there as he left. Ratchet came to stand next to me. "This won't take long, I just want to be sure they didn't do any damage to sensors or nodes. Introducing a foreign object into a mech's interface array, even one designed for the purpose, should only be done with full consent and knowledge of any risks."

He lead me over to a berth and drew a curtain around us. I eased myself down on to it fear fluttering in my spark. He had me lay back before arranging a tray of instruments next to him. He turned back to me.

"I hate to ask, but when was the last time you interfaced?"

I stared at him a flood of emotions tangling in my processor. "I haven't."

His frown deepened. "I see. Well that changes things."

"It does? How?" I barely kept the panic out of my voice.

"I'll be right back. Do not move."

Careful of my door wings I laid back and closed my optics. This was getting completely out of hand. Why was everyone so slagging concerned about my having never interfaced? Ratchet was back within a few breem. He didn't say anything at first except to direct me to the end of the berth where my feet were placed in stirrups.

"I'm going to inspect your array, I will be touching you but it shouldn't hurt or be uncomfortable." He was quick and efficient, touching me only long enough to conduct a thorough inspection. I stared up at the ceiling and refused to allow my processor to dwell on what he was doing. I'd been in here so many times for repairs and had even spent a few orn one time when I'd been severely injured.

"Alright, you can sit up. I'm finished."

"Already?"

"Yes. Thankfully, your array is fine and Prowl, no matter what anyone tells you, your choice to not use it is yours alone. No one can say anything. You are a fine mech and one of Optimus' most trusted advisor's, what you choose to do or not do in your personal life is up to you. No matter what any one has to say. I am going to recommend that you see a counselor and please for Primus sake don't shut Jazz out for telling us."

"He promised me."

"Some promises have to be broken, especially when the secret is something that could hurt the other mech. He loves you Prowl. If he didn't he wouldn't have gone to Optimus. He wants to make sure you are alright in any way he can."

His words sent a shard of pain right through my spark. "Love is a very strong word Ratchet."

"Yes it is and I do not use it lightly." He picked up something off the tray and handed it too me. "It's cooled off a little bit, but I know you need it."

I looked down at the energon and took a reluctant sip. "When can I go back to full duty?"

He vented softly and shook his head. "Today, though I strongly advise against it. You need time to process this Prowl. I know your emotional centers are not equipped to handle this kind of input."

"The sooner I can get back to work, the better."

"Of course."

After finishing the energon I left the med bay. Ratchet gave a final warning about not over working myself. I headed straight to my office passing a few mechs in the corridors. A couple nodded, acknowledging my presence. I made it to my office without incident only to find my desk piled with data pads. Of course. Surprisingly behind them was a small package. There was nothing on it to indicate who it had come from so I set it to the side and started in on the closest pile of data pads. Smokescreen seemed to be playing up his injury from the amount of his work I seemed to be doing. There were reports from perimeter sweeps, intercepted communications of unknown origin, complaints and several requests for more troops in one sector or another. Sorting everything out, I started cataloging them and forwarding the things I felt needed Optimus' immediate attention. Putting the now empty data pads into the receptacle that would send them back to processing, I glanced over at the package. It had been nearly five joor since I'd returned, maybe a short break would be acceptable in keeping with Ratchet's advice.

The package contained a data pad and three entertainment chips. Each had been labeled in Jazz's handwriting. I found myself smiling. On the data pad were several novels from one of my favorite authors. It had been a blow to find out he'd been killed last vorn in a Decepticon raid. The entertainment chips contained recreations of three of his novels. I'd never watched them, preferring to read, but it might be an interesting change of pace.

I looked up as my door chimed. "Enter."

I gathered up the things and carefully put them back in the box. I looked up to see Jazz standing in the doorway. My spark suddenly lurched, the oscillations painful.

"Somehow I knew I'd find you here. Did'ja get my package."

"Yes. Thank you."

He waved a servo as he plopped down in the chair across from my desk. "I thought you might like it."

I gripped the edge of my desk barely keeping my expression neutral. "Is there something else you need?"

"Wow, okay I understand if you are pissed off but you don't have to take that tone with me."

"I am not pissed off and there was no tone."

Taking his leg down from the armrest he leaned forward. "Prowl, I went to Prime because I was worried about you."

I sat back forcing my door wings still with an effort. "You promised you would tell no one."

"Well I thought better of it after seeing how you were reacting."

"How I was reacting-Jazz I didn't do anything. I didn't track them down and beat the living spark out of them-"

"I kind of wish you would have at least tried, Prowler. I get it, they forced something on you that you have no way of understanding or dealing with. It was horribly unfair of them and they are being dealt with accordingly, but this whole . . ." He waved a servo at me. "NON-reaction is more disturbing than anything else you could have done."

"Thats enough Jazz."

"No slag it! I'm worried sick about you and you are just shutting me out. If another mech had been raped you would have raised Pitt itself."

"Get out." I didn't realize when I'd made it too my feet. "Get out of my office."

"Prowl-"

"GET OUT!" The yell shocked us both. I had never once raised my voice to Jazz except in the heat of battle.

He opened his mouth to say something and then stopped. His normally square shoulders drooped. He stumbled back a step and turning nearly ran into the door frame. The door hissed closed behind him leaving me to wonder what I had just done.


	3. Chapter 3

The next orn, after finishing my morning meetings with other sector leaders I decided go back to my office instead of training. I was tired of being around everyone. Every time someone spoke to me or even looked at me my processor immediately jumped to the recurring fear that they knew what had happened and were judging me accordingly. It was absurd and ridiculous and I couldn't stop it. My helm felt like someone had used a battle ax on it by the time I made it too the safety of my office.

Smokescreen was standing if front of my desk. "I wasn't expecting you so soon, but I'm glad you are here."

"What's wrong?"

He turned and handed me a data pad. "I thought you might want to deal with this personally."

"You couldn't just have commed me?"

"Not for this."

The way he said it had me wondering what could possibly be so urgent. Taking the pad I sat down and scrolled through the contents. I read it once. Then read it again, sure I had misunderstood the contents. I hadn't.

"He's in the brig now?"

"Yes along with the Twins. Ratchet is beyond furious. Do you know what caused this? Jazz has never picked fights before. He's usually the one breaking them up, and with the Twins of all mechs."

Venting slowly I rested my helm on my hand. "I might have an idea, but I will need to speak to Jazz privately."

"Sure boss. Want me to get you some energon? You are looking a bit pale in the optics."

"I'll get it myself. Thank you for bringing this to my attention."

"Sure. I know how close you two are."

Maybe not anymore, my processor supplied unbidden causing a sudden flare of pain in my spark.

"Prowl, are you sure you are okay? You don't seem like yourself."

"I am sorry. This is just disturbing news."

"I hear you there. Well if you need anything just comm me."

Once he'd left I looked down at the report again. It had only happened the previous joor so they hadn't been in brig for long. Energon first then I'd go find out why Jazz had decided to attack the twins. If it had anything to do with the events of the previous orn I was going to have some very strong words with Jazz. Setting the pad to the side with the other reports I stood. My helm still ached like it was going to explode and now my sparked ached right along with it. I couldn't remember a time when I'd ever felt this confused and unsure of what action to take. This wasn't like figuring out how best to engage the Decepticons, or decoding an encrypted data stream. I had no experience with such emotionally charged events that involved myself personally. Enough. Enough of this ceaseless looping of insignificant data. Jazz had broken the rules and as Optimus' second in command it was up to me to find out why and then decide an appropriate punishment. After making a note of my chosen punishments and the reasons behind them, I sent the report to Optimus.

Heading to the refueling center I avoided making optic contact with anyone else in the room. I grabbed two cubes, sub spacing one.

"Hey Prowl, we heard that Jazz is in the brig. Is that true?"

I looked over to see a group of mini-con sitting at a table, their optics glued to me. I forced myself to relax, my door wings dropping to their normal position.

"Yes. I am investigating the incident."

"Jazz is the last mech I thought would ever get sent to the brig. I mean, he's Optimus' third!"

I turned away from them, unwilling to listen to their idle gossip. The next comment had me stopping in my tracks.

"I heard he went after the twins because of something they did."

"I thought you usually handled the twins, Prowl?"

"I am not their handler. And this incident is not for your idle speculation."

"Yes sir."

Barely keeping my temper in check I stalked out of the room. Of course rumors were already flying. I had tried to tell Jazz and Optimus that this would happen. I made myself recite the handbook as I walked to mitigate my darkening mood. I could not be emotional and face Jazz. Actually I was finding it difficult to be emotional and do anything. Was my emotional center really so disused that these surges were swamping it and forcing my processor into dealing with the backlash.

I nodded to the mech on duty as I walked into the brig. The corridor was brightly lit most of the cells unoccupied except for a few Decpticon prisoners and at the far end Jazz's cell opposite the Twins. When I walked in they were yelling at each other. I turned back to the mech in charge of the shift.

"How long have they been doing that?"

"Ever since Optimus put them in here."

"Optimus?" That hadn't been in the report. Why had Smokescreen brought me the report when Optimus himself had brought them down here? It had to have been a ploy to get me down here to talk to Jazz. I did not appreciate being manipulated, but while I was here I might as well take the opportunity to find out what Jazz had been thinking.

"Yes. He, Ironhide and Ratchet brought the three of them here about an joor and a half ago. They were spitting mad too. I've never heard Optimus lay into the twins like that before."

The yelling from the cells increased in volume. I shuttered my optics for a moment. "I assume it was Optimus who put them in adjoining cells."

"Nope that was Ironhide. He said they weren't coming out until they'd settled it like mechs."

Slag it. This was just too much. My first inclination was to head back to my office and just lock the door. Maybe after a fortnight things would calm down. "Thank you, if it is alright I'd like to speak to them."

"Yeah sure."

Spark heavy and an unwelcome dread wrapping chill fingers around me, I headed down the cell block. I didn't look to either side, as I stopped between the two cells. The yelling cut off. I straightened my stance, keeping my door wings up. Not daring to look at either cell's occupants I stared ahead.

"This conduct is unbecoming Autobots and the longer you continue to engage in it the longer you will remain here."

"Prowl-"

"Do not address me. I am not here to engage in conversation." I slowly turned my head to look at Jazz. His expression went from shock to hurt before he turned away. Turning my head to the opposite side I kept my expression neutral as I regarded the twins. "You two have completely shattered any trust I had in you or your decision making abilities. You are both demoted."

"But Prowl! You need us!"

I jerked around to face them fully. "I need mech's I can trust! Mech's who have their fellow Autobot's interests at heart. You've demonstrated beyond a doubt that you only think about how to amuse yourselves no matter how it might hurt others."

"Prowl, wait . . ."

"I am not interested in what you have to say Sideswipe."

Turning around I headed back down the corridor. I wanted away from them, all of them and away from the heavy ache in my spark. I ignored them calling me back. There was nothing left to say.

Sitting at my desk I realized I'd been staring at the same sentence for several breem without comprehending it. Rubbing a servo across my optics I glanced at the time. It was well into evening. Maybe it was time to call it an orn and go. The thought of going back to my chambers just to have to face the thoughts I'd been avoiding the last few orn was not a pleasant one. It helped that Jazz and the twin's hadn't be released yet, though I hadn't gone back to see them since that first time two orn ago. My door chimed.

"Enter."

"I thought you would still be here." Smokescreen smiled at me. "You are working yourself to death you know."

That's the plan. I mused before shaking my head. "These reports of raids on unaligned settlements have some interesting information in them."

"I don't think that's what's got you holed up in your office like a cyberfox run to ground."

"I do not appreciate that analogy."

Smokescreen just smiled. "Well I just came by to tell you that there is someone wanting to talk to you."

"Why didn't they come here?"

Smokescreen shrugged. "Apparently you blew off your appointment with them. Not something you would do Prowl."

"I didn't have any- . . . Oh, I shall go speak to them."

"Then go get some recharge, you look like Megatron himself got his servos on you."

First Aid was waiting in the corridor, he flashed me a smile. "I figured you got busy with work."

"Yes. I apologize for missing our appointment."

"But you didn't see any real point in it?"

I blinked several times unsure how to respond to such an astute observation. He chuckled and gestured for me to follow. "You are not the first mech to avoid a counseling session. But better late than never."

He moved the conversation to more innocuous topics as we walked to his office. His was near the medical bay but not inside it like Ratchet's. It was a comfortable office full off half repaired equipment and small tools. He gestured for me to take one of the overstuffed chairs. It looked dangerously comfortable.

"Have a seat Powl. This won't take up too much of your time."

I sat, unsure what to expect.

"Would you like some energon? I have some mid-grade that is quite excellent."

"No, thank you. I am fine."

"Well, I hate to contradict you but you are anything but fine Prowl. Optimus arranged this session out of concern for your well being."

"I have been performing my duties-"

"This is not about your work performance, Prowl. You are as flawless as ever. This is about you personally."

I left his office a joor later not sure what to think. My processor was still reeling. I wanted nothing more than to go curl up in my berth and not move for a while. So much of what he'd said had hit home in the most uncomfortable and profound ways. I needed time to process and assimilate everything. It hadn't even been a fortnight since the incident and yet it felt like a vorn had past. I'd had enough of this feeling of being off balance an unsure of myself. I was an Autobot soldier. Optimus' Prime's second in command and head of the tactical sector. So something had happened that had thrown my processor for a loop. It wasn't like I hadn't faced similiar challenges during the war. This just required a slightly different way of dealing with it. I vowed that the next orn I would go see Jazz if he was still in the brig and see if we could talk through things. I still wasn't quite ready to speak to the Twins. I wasn't sure that I ever would be, but according to First Aid I needed to, as much for myself as for them. He'd told me that Prime was requiring them to take several courses of sensitivity training as well as pulling them off duty rotation to work with injured mechs until they started showing some empathy. My demotion stood. They would still be front liners, but they would no longer lead missions. It was a lot more than I'd thought Prime would do, but I was glad. I was not quite as happy about the fact that my sessions with First Aid would continue until he felt I was able to cope with the incident on my own. I had tried telling him I was fine, but he had deftly demonstrated I was not.

Once in my chambers I took a long shower. There was plenty to think about but I didn't want to think right now. Finished with the shower I took one of the entertainment chips Jazz had given me and put in my player. It was one of my favorite novels and to my surprise the show was quite good. I had just put in the second one when my door chimed. Glancing a the time I frowned. It was very late, too late for any casual callers. Not that I ever had any casual callers. Pausing the playback I went to answer the door. Seeing who it was I almost didn't answer it. Steeling myself I opened the door.

A beautiful smile lit up the room brighter than his blue visor. "Heya Prowl. Just got out of the brig and thought I'd swing by and see how you were."

"I am fine." It's nice to see you please come in, begged to be said but I couldn't get the words past my vocoder.

He cocked his head to the side and leaned closer, the smile fading. "I almost believe you. You got a minute? I know it's late."

"Sure." I stepped back to let him in noticing the barely healed wounds as he walked by. "Jazz? You didn't go see Ratchet about your injuries?"

Settling down on my small couch he shrugged. "They are just mesh wounds, nothing that won't heal on it's own. Besides, I'd had enough of Ratchet's tirades to last me a vorn."

"So you just get out of a five orn stint in the brig and the first place you come is here?"

Another shrug. "Where else would I go? After that day you visited the Twins and I spend pretty much every joor reaming each other until we realized something."

When he didn't continue I looked over at him. "What?"

"We were all wrong. I was wrong. They were wrong. They really are sorry for what they did Prowl. They'd harassed some other mechs before but it was never anything serious and they thought since no one got hurt there was no damage done."

I snorted at that but didn't say anything.

"Believe me, they understand now just how big their mistake was."

"Why? Because you beat it into them?"

He grimaced sinking down in the seat. "No . . . That was stupid of me. I was just so angry after seeing how depressed you were and I wasn't thinking clearly. Optimus had some very pointed words for all of us. I guess you heard the twins were demoted?"

"I'm the one who did it."

"Oh . . ."

"I can't have mechs I can't trust making decisions that will affect an entire squad."

"Optimus pretty much said the same thing. I've never seen him like that, not outside of battle. He can be terrifying."

"He's Optimus Prime for a good reason."

"I know, but still, having that amount of fury directed at you is enough to shake any mech. Sunny spent the whole first night crying."

"Sunstreaker did?" Shock flooded me.

"Have you ever had Optimus disappointed in you? Ready to revoke your standing as an Autobot?" My surprise must have showed. "Yeah, he was that upset Prowl."

"I . . . Didn't realize."

"You also don't realize how much we all care for you, not just me, Optimus, Ratchet, Smokescreen. We none of us would be here if not for you."

"You are exaggerating."

"No, I'm not. Once we'd calmed down the three of us talked. Really talked. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe have been through a lot and it's caused them to stop relating to anyone except each other. I think its part of why they didn't see anything wrong with what they did to you. To them they were playing a harmless prank that would give you an unexpected jolt. They never intended to hurt you they way they did."

"They wanted to humiliate me and they succeeded." I tried unsuccessfully to keep the bite out of my words.

"Prowl," Jazz was on his feet and standing in front of me before I'd registered the movement. "You don't know how sorry I am that this happened, I never wanted things to become this awkward between us."

The urge to pull him to me and take comfort in his presence was almost to strong to ignore. I settled for meeting his optics. "Nor did I."

"Can we talk about it? Without you getting upset with me?"

I pondered his request for a long moment. "What is there to talk about, Jazz?"

He vented slowly his helm dropping. "Nothing, I guess. I'm sorry I disturbed you, just . . . Take care of yourself Prowl."

"Jazz, wait." I startled myself and had no reason for him to stay. I just didn't want to be alone. I glanced around the room frantic. "Do-do you want to watch a show with me?"

His smile lifted the weight on my spark. "Sure thing Prowler!"

Suddenly unsure of myself I moved back to the player, resetting the queue for the beginning of the movie. Jazz had already settled back on the couch, leaving a space I supposed he meant for me. "This kinda reminds me of when Rewind used to have movie nights. Miss the little bugger."

"He was a good mech, but he and Chromedome wanted to go with the others to scout new planets."

"I know. Can't really blame them, if you weren't here I'd want to leave too. I think we will have to eventually, the way the war is going."

"I am afraid of that too."

"Aren't you going to sit?" He patted the seat beside him. There was nothing mocking or insinuating in his voice or the look he was giving me.

I nodded and took the seat next to him. I woke sometime later, the movie was long over, the lights dim. I slowly raised my head realizing I was lying curled up against Jazz who had an arm around me. It was comfortable but also disconcerting. What time was it? My chronometer showed it was very early in the next orn. Too earlier to be up and about, even for me. I shifted trying not to wake Jazz only to have him tighten his grip.

"Where ya' goin' Prowler?"

"The movie is over, you should probably go back to your chambers."

"Can I just sleep here?"

I sighed, "Sure, will you be comfortable here?"

"Yup. Night Prowler."

"Sleep well Jazz."


End file.
